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"It takes chances to make changes."

Danielle Ballentine, Runner

Dear Subscribers:

As we approach the "witching hour" when little goblins and other fantastic creatures will be wreaking havoc across the countryside (or at least stopping door-to-door for tricks and tasty treats), I thought I'd dedicate this issue to "truth and nothing but the truth."

We all take it for granted that people generally tell us the truth. After all, why should they lie? Unfortunately, for some in business, the truth can become more a matter of convenience rather than necessity. Consider the executive who fails to fully disclose potentially damaging information to his or her Board of Directors, or the marketing campaign that makes spurious claims to enhance a product's desirability, the salesperson who lies about a feature to complete a sale, the engineer who knowingly claims an unrealistic delivery date to get management off his or her back, or the co-worker who tells a "little white lie" to avoid getting into trouble with the boss. Have these practices become so pervasive they are no longer considered unethical?

In Playing Loose with the Truth I explore the potential temptation to, and consequences of, lying in business. My second article, When Co-Workers Lie discusses your options when a business associate lies. Of course, there's also a lot more to be said about corporate and organizational lying (often better known as the cover-up), but I'll leave that for another issue.

Regardless of the provocation, lying, in any form, always places the liar on a "slippery slope" to potential disaster. There may be times when a lie appears necessary for the greater good, or when a lie seems innocuous in the short-term, but never doubt that every lie incurs potentially damaging consequences, whether disastrous or not.

Happy Halloween!

Yvonne T. Ryan
The Techie Leadership Coach

For most of us, "bending the truth" is relatively easy. We tell a little white lie — the social lie — to avoid hurting someone's feelings. We choose not to disclose pertinent facts in order to protect ourselves or others, or to gain an advantage in a negotiation or competition. We exaggerate to make a situation or achievement look better or more remarkable (those fish stories that so many of us are fond of telling). Okay, be honest, haven't you been guilty of at least one or two of these? I know I have been. The problem with playing loose with the truth is that it can easily become a habit.

Very early in my career, I learned a valuable lesson about the consequences of lying. Right after leaving college, I worked for a consulting firm that supported small businesses. To make a long story short, I was leading an effort to develop a payroll system for a small international construction firm. Close to the end of the project, our customer asked me, point blank, if the development effort was complete and I replied that it was.

I really never intended to lie to our client, because we truly believed that we would be finishing up the development that day. Unfortunately, later that same day, a major flaw was found in the software that had eluded our testing effort. It took almost two weeks to fix the problem. Not only was our delivery date shot to smithereens, but my company had to pay a penalty, the client no longer trusted my word, and my company's reputation with that client was tarnished. Not one of the prouder moments in my career (or my life) let me tell you. My supervisor, being a wise manager, realized I had learned a valuable and life-altering lesson through this experience. He didn't have to lower the boom on me; I had already lowered it on myself.

A lie, when found out (and they almost always are), erodes trust; it may damage image, reputation, or an important relationship. A lie (even one not intended to do harm) may mislead others into taking action or making a decision to their own detriment or to the detriment of others. In the worst case, a lie perpetrated to cover-up a misdeed, unfortunate accident, or a serious lack of judgment makes us susceptible to ridicule, blackmail, scandal, or loss of prestige.

Even when a lie is never found out, it tarnishes something inside us. Telling a lie not only forces us to admit to human weakness, it diminishes and shames us, it erodes our confidence and increases our stress level for fear of being found out. In the end, restraining our inclination to lie, not placing ourselves in situations that make it easier to lie than deal with the truth — these are more than moral and ethical imperatives. Developing a healthy respect for the truth is both our best defense and out best offense in both business and life. Honesty truly is the best policy.

Last Fall, one of my clients — a newly promoted technical manager — asked my advice concerning a co-worker. My client, while coordinating a priority-one project, was required to work with a peer who "always uses lies to cover up...backstabs others to defend himself or gain position...takes credit for other people's work." My client was pretty disgusted with this individual: "If I help him, he will take all the credit. If I don't help him, my project will suffer. Can you offer any insight or suggestion on how to handle this guy?"

Clearly, this sort of individual can become a very real detriment to any working relationship or team effort, primarily because of the trust issues involved. Have you ever run into such an individual? I suspect most of us have at one time or another. If you haven't had this dubious "pleasure" yet, count yourself lucky. Here's how I advised my client.

Start with some basic assumptions.

1. Forewarned is forearmed. Awareness is the key. Once you recognize a co-worker's duplicitous nature, you can begin to take action to protect yourself, your team, and your project.
2. You can't ignore a liar (and hope the problem will stop or go away). An inveterate or habitual liar is like a bad apple that can, and will, ruin an entire barrel over time. Although the lying co-worker may belong to another group or department, his or her actions will sew seeds of distrust, deter open communication, and cause other co-workers to build up defenses that block cooperation and collaboration.
3. People may choose to believe a good lie in spite of existing evidence to the contrary. Accomplished liars are adept at telling people what they want to hear — a powerful weapon in their arsenal of tactics. You're best defense is awareness. You can't stop people from deluding themselves, but you can be aware of when they do it, and take steps to counteract or buffer the impact of such delusion through risk management.
4. Inveterate liars are self-focused. Habitual liars aren't thinking about what is good for their co-workers, their team, or their organization. Their focus is on what's best for them. This is both a strength and a weakness. Their ego-centric focus makes them both ruthless and vulnerable.
5. Successful liars eventually become arrogant and self-delusional. Once really good liars become successful at lying (and getting away with it), they begin to believe they are invulnerable — a chink in their armor that you can exploit when attempting to combat the negative effects of their lies.
6. You can't "reform" a habitual liar. I'm not talking here about a person who tells the occasional social lie, or one who rarely lies. A habitual liar is someone who regularly employs lying as a standard operating procedure. You can't change such an individual; he or she must choose to change his or her own behavior.

Given the above assumptions, try one or more of the following...

• Be proactive. Your options in dealing with a habitual liar may be limited, but, as a manager, you can't afford to simply ignore the situation. You will need to proactively seek out information concerning what this individual is saying to people, who those people are, and how those people are interpreting what is being said. This may sound like a lot of work, and it is, but it is also necessary to combat the effects of a liar. This is one of those cases where "Knowledge is power!"
• Keep records. Those who play loose with the truth usually get caught in their own web of lies, eventually. Keeping detailed notes that will eventually allow you to elucidate the lies with facts. Having the facts written down will increase your confidence and add to your credibility.
• Play it smart — be politically savvy. Although you may be outraged at the lies of a co-worker, openly counter-attacking that individual may not be your best option. As technical professionals, we generally prefer straight talk, employing concrete facts and logic rather than dealing with "shades of grey." Lies often make us angry. These factors can work against you when dealing with a liar.
  
  A liar manipulates people and circumstances by exploiting those shades of grey. The liar also uses a cool, confident manner, sly humor, innuendo, and/or ridicule to give credence to his or her position or story. Don't allow yourself to be ensnared in the liar's traps. Keep a reign on your emotions when dealing with a liar (or the results of the liar's actions). Your denials or public criticisms and accusations may cause you to appear threatened, weak, jealous, or envious — all of which ultimately work against you, especially when it allows the liar to appear to be the voice of reason. This is one of those instances when saying less, and biding your time, may net you a better overall outcome.
  
  Save your concerns and comments for the right ears (i.e., for the decision-makers); just be sure to expend the effort to be heard by those ears, bringing along facts to back up your viewpoint(s) or criticism(s). Groundless suppositions won't get you anywhere with decision-makers, but the liar may be able to turn your suppositions to his or her advantage.

Poor liars "dig their own graves" relatively quickly. Accomplished liars often become master actors and manipulators who know how to "work" the system and those in it. In fact, such people may inspire a certain awe concerning their sheer audacity and ability to get away with things you or I would never even attempt. What makes these individuals so dangerous is their ability to convince others (especially upper management and clients) of their knowledge, abilities, sincerity, and/or trustworthiness, often in spite of evidence to the contrary. Don't waste too many cycles trying to figure out why this is so — it will just drive you crazy.

Your best options with a lying co-worker are to expand your awareness (so you won't be blind-sided), take preventative measures (to limit the damage), keep records (to boost your confidence and credibility), and maintain your cool (don't hand the liar a weapon to use against you).