New Perspectives on Networking

For most of my life, I was a confirmed non-networker. In fact, you could have called me networking-phobic. I raised a skeptical eyebrow at statistics describing how most jobs are landed through networks, because all my jobs came through recruiters or ads. And I probably never would have started my business if I'd realized that networking would be such a crucial activity.

So when I say that networking is a wonderful skill that you can learn, and that it's FUN, I hope you'll pay attention. You may be dutiful-but-reluctant instead of out-and-out phobic; either way, this is my invitation to you to find ways to actually enjoy your networking activities.

I know you know why you should network, but I'll review a few of the reasons and then describe some tips to make it more fun.

Make friends

You'll meet wonderful people at networking events, many of whom will become lifelong colleagues and friends.

Get jazzed

There's nothing like talking about what you do with people who are interested. Ideas suddenly become excitingly real when you talk about them.

Learn something

Not all networking is dull and businesslike. Two of my favorite groups are the Knitting Guild and the Mycological Society. Mycological? Mushrooms. Yes, I hang out with the Mushroom People. (No, no, not THOSE kinds of mushrooms!) Whether you choose primarily social events or professional, you'll learn a lot.

Make connections

You never know when you'll need a reliable electrician, mechanic, or babysitter. Or when you'll want to land a job with a particular company. It's all about meeting people now so you'll know them when you need them. And it's lots of fun to help other people make the connections they need as well.

Don't do business

It's not about doing business. Really. Not. About. Doing. Business.

Whether it's job-hunting or trying to sell something, you know what you think of people who try to do business with you five seconds after you meet them. 'Nuff said.

Making it Fun

Statistics show that people fear public speaking more than they fear death. Among the people I talk to, though, I'd say that fear of networking ranks even higher. After all, if you're delivering a speech, at least you know what to say!

The suggestions here aren't about what to say, but if you experiment with them, you may find that "what to say" becomes a non-issue.

Follow your interests

I've heard networking gurus say that you shouldn't go to events just for the speaker or topic. I disagree, especially if you're networking-phobic.

If you go to an event that you're interested in, you're guaranteed to have something to talk about with the other attendees. And your genuine interest in the topic — even if you don't know anything about it — will make you interesting to the people there who do know something about it.

You'll notice that two of my favorite groups are not business related. Do I make business connections there? Of course I do.

Go for the food

Okay, I can't believe I just wrote that. But really, some events have much better food than others. And you can meet people over the buffet, talk about the fabulous appetizers, and laugh about not shaking hands with sticky fingers.

Go for the people

If the attendees of an event are what a friend of mine would call "your peeps" (your people), you'll have much more fun than if they're too conservative/liberal/old/young/whatever. Look for groups that are outside your normal social circle (otherwise, why bother?), but who share at least some of your perspective on life. They, after all, are the ones most likely to become business associates and friends.

Don't just join

If you decide to become a member of a group, you'll get much more for your membership fee if you get involved. Volunteer for a committee. Offer to help at the registration desk for the monthly meeting. You'll immediately have people to talk to and something to say to them, and you'll make deeper, stronger connections as you work together.

Some of the most demanding and interesting volunteer work I've ever done was for the local chapter of the American Society for Training and Development. And the annual conference I helped organize was tremendous fun, and I formed friendships and business connections that will be part of my life and business for years to come.

It's a party

If you're normally not a party-goer, start with smaller, quieter, less-interactive events where you won't have to be "on stage" too much. Take a friend with you if you must, but don't just hang out together.

People know when you're uncomfortable. Forcing yourself to go to events when you're too tired, too overwhelmed, or secretly terrified just doesn't work. However, when you find ways to intrigue yourself — whether it's the speaker, the group's focus (ahh, those mushrooms!), or even the venue where the event is held — you'll be more relaxed and easier to talk to.

And finally...

Don't listen to the voices in your head clamoring that you're the only wallflower, the only one who's uncomfortable. There are very few people who are completely at ease when they walk into a roomful of strangers.

But here's a fun little surprise about networking that no one ever mentions. As you get out there more and more, you'll suddenly find that even when you go to a brand-new event hosted by an unfamiliar group, there are people there whom you know.

That's when you'll know you've become a real networker!

"Networking is like dating. You have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find the princes."
Sherry Essig, certified business coach and co-founder of Priority Ventures Group.

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About the Author: Grace Judson is an executive coach and business consultant with more than two decades of experience in strategic planning, coaching, business planning, and tactical execution. She specializes in corporate politics and culture issues, and is especially interested in gender politics and the issues of women and gender role expectations in the workplace. For more information, go to: www.svahaconcepts.com.

© 2008 Grace L. Judson. All Rights Reserved. Reprinted here with permission granted by the author.

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